Herpes and dating advice

I told him I had genital herpes and that he should use a condom. We tried that, but he hated condoms and was unhappy with our sex life because of that. Thank you for sharing your story.

What it’s really like to date with herpes

You do not need to be celibate for the rest of your life because of herpes. Herpes is very common. You might have carried the virus for decades before your first and only outbreak. Your husband or a partner before your marriage might have transmitted it to you without ever knowing they were carrying the virus. Herpes is very common, and so is the tendency to feel awful about having it. It got to the point that I started disclosing on the first date just to get it over with. My reasoning was at least if and when he rejected me, at least we would have only wasted one date.

Arm yourself with information to share with your dates, insist that the men you date practice safe sex and not just for their own benefit! Bad decision on the part of your dates to go without barrier protection even though they know you have herpes. They should not have blamed you or shamed you — they both made their own decisions not to use safer sex. For more about safer sex for seniors, see this article on SeniorPlanet.

As you may already know, there are two types of herpes. Type 1 HSV-1 is the oral herpes that causes cold sores or fever blisters in and around the mouth. Type 2 HSV-2 causes genital herpes. The herpes virus is the most common sexually transmitted infection in the world.

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According to the World Health Organisation, two out of three people under the age of 50 are infected. Oh, and once you have it, you have it for life. Since being diagnosed with genital herpes in , she has dedicated her life to breaking down the stigma around herpes and providing resources for people struggling to come to terms with their condition.

Living (and dating) with herpes

We put so much pressure on ourselves and all of our insecurities are pushed to the surface when it comes to dating. The fear of telling someone or the rejection was so strong. Once I got over that hurdle, then I was ready to begin dating.


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It was very hard to tell a guy I liked that I had herpes, hoping that they would still want to date me. On the day she received a call from her doctor with the results of her test: If I get an outbreak I know how to treat it and help the outbreak heal as fast as possible.


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Herpes is split into the HSV-1 virus, also known as herpes simplex or oral herpes, that causes cold sores and mouth ulcers, and HSV-2, the genital herpes virus characterised by painful red blisters around the genital region. Unfortunately, there is no cure for herpes. Is it possible to successfully date and have relationships even though you have an incurable STI?

This form generally appears as cold sores around your mouth but it can be passed to your genitals through skin on skin contact which is becoming a more common way of contracting genital herpes. Before I was officially diagnosed, I googled my symptoms and scared myself silly. Based on my internet research I diagnosed myself with herpes - and reading articles and forums full of false information made me feel like it was the end of my life as I knew it.

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What it’s really like to date with herpes | Metro News

I basically read that it was incurable and could result in regular flare-ups. This made me think that nobody would ever want to date or sleep with me again. I'd struggle to get to sleep after compulsively reading articles online, then I'd jolt awake early in the morning, panicking. At the time I thought it was an insect bite, but it stayed for a couple of weeks and I realised that the small red mark was something else.

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So then I thought it might be an allergic reaction to a new fabric softener. After a few weeks, I went to my GP who said she thought it might be herpes. My GP referred me to a sexual health clinic in September and I got tested the same month.


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They swabbed the sore and sent it off for testing, and my results came back positive. I crumpled into a heap on the floor. I got a text message from the doctor and was told after I called that I had herpes and I had to contact all my sexual partners. That was pretty much it. Normally you only get one flare-up a year, at the most.

After I was diagnosed, I was scared of rejection and stopped dating entirely for a few months.